It’s a bit of a universal question, isn’t it? That nagging thought that sneaks into our heads, the one that says, “Why is everyone else better than me? What’s wrong with me?” It’s totally okay to have these thoughts. In fact, it’s pretty common.
There will always be people who appear better than us in some way. Whether it’s their intelligence, looks, social skills, or accomplishments, there will always be someone out there who seems to excel in a certain area where we may not. And that’s okay! It doesn’t mean we lack anything necessarily; it just means that we all have different strengths and weaknesses. So instead of comparing ourselves to others, let’s focus on developing our own unique talents and skills.
Why Do I Think People Are Better Than Me?
Firstly, you need to know and understand that we have a natural tendency to compare ourselves with others – a habit that’s as old as humanity itself!
Psychologically, the impulse to compare ourselves with others is rooted in our evolutionary past. Humans, being social creatures, have always lived in groups. The comparison allowed us to understand our position within the group, assessing our strengths and weaknesses relative to those around us. It was a survival mechanism that helped us determine where we stood and what roles we could fill within our communities.
However, this inherited tendency has taken on a new form in the modern world. With the advent of social media and the omnipresent culture of oversharing, we’re not only comparing ourselves with our immediate circle but with thousands of people across the globe. This amplifies the feeling of inferiority because the pool of comparison is so vast and diverse.
We see something in another person that we admire, and automatically think, “They’re better than me.” But here’s the thing: we’re often comparing our weaknesses to someone else’s strengths. Of course, they’ll come out on top!
Common Triggers What Makes You Think “Other People Are Better Than Me”
Inferiority isn’t a monolithic feeling that manifests the same way in every individual. It can take on various forms and be triggered by different situations, making it a complex emotion to navigate.
For some, the feeling of inferiority might be triggered by academic or professional achievements. Seeing a peer excel might stir a sense of inadequacy, causing one to question, “What is wrong with me?” This can lead to self-doubt and hinder personal growth as the person constantly measures their worth based on others’ accomplishments.
In other cases, inferiority might be rooted in personal appearance. The influence of media and societal beauty standards can cause individuals to perceive themselves as less attractive or desirable, resulting in feelings of inadequacy and inferiority.
As I mentioned earlier, there are loads of situations that can trigger a feeling of inferiority. However, there are a few common causes that can make us feel like we’re just not good enough.
Social Media Comparison
With the rise of social media platforms, it’s so easy to compare ourselves with others, which can sometimes make us feel inferior. The carefully chosen and edited content we see on our feeds can set unrealistic standards for comparison, making us question our own lives and achievements. But hey, let’s not forget that social media is just a highlight reel. Everyone has their own struggles and insecurities, no matter how perfect they may seem online.
Negative Self-Talk
We are often our own worst critics, constantly putting ourselves down with negative self-talk what makes it easy to believe there’s something wrong with us or everyone else is better than ourselves, without realizing that our self-perception is being influenced by our own insecurities. So, it’s important to be mindful of our thoughts and try to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations such as “I am worthy of love and success,” “I am enough,” or “I am capable of achieving my goals.”
Comparing Apples to Oranges
Another common cause of feeling inferior is comparing ourselves to others without considering our own unique circumstances. For example, we might feel like we’re not advancing in our careers as quickly as our peers but fail to acknowledge the different paths and opportunities that have led them to where they are. Remember, we all have our own journeys and it’s not fair to compare them with others.
External Criticism
Sometimes, feeling inadequate can also come from external criticism or judgment from others. We may take their opinions to heart, especially if we’ve faced criticism in our childhood, and let it impact how we see ourselves. But it’s important to remember that what others think doesn’t define us. We should focus on how we see ourselves instead of seeking validation from others.
Childhood Experiences
Our early life experiences, especially the ones with criticism or neglect, can make us feel inferior even as adults. But it’s important to recognize these experiences and how they shaped our self-image. Even when we don’t consciously consider our childhood experiences, they still have a major impact on our self-esteem and confidence. It’s important to be aware of this so we can break free from toxic patterns and develop a healthier self-perception.
It’s essential to realize that we all grapple with our insecurities. It’s worth noting that those who are quick to criticize or belittle you are often dealing with their insecurities. Their criticism is more a reflection of their own feelings of inadequacy than an accurate assessment of your worth or abilities.
Embracing Imperfection
It is crucial to embrace imperfection and understand that no one is perfect. What is perfection anyway?
Many people would rather cuddle up with a wormy and cozy body instead of a shredded gym body that attracts all the attention at the beach! What’s the point of traveling to famous Instagrammable places when you end up not enjoying the long hours at the airport, sipping on ridiculously expensive water, and sitting even longer on the plane to reach your desired destination?
Embracing imperfection is more about what makes you truly happy and feel good inside, rather than following societal standards of perfection.
Unrealistic Expectations
Sometimes we might set unrealistic expectations for ourselves based on what we see others achieving. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy when we don’t meet these expectations. It’s important to remember that everyone has their own unique journey and that success looks different for everyone. Comparing ourselves to others will only lead to disappointment. Instead, let’s focus on our own progress and accomplishments.
Academic or Professional Pressure
Pressure to excel in school or work can lead to feelings of inadequacy, especially when we perceive our peers as more successful. Everyone has different strengths and talents, and professional success does not determine our worth as unique individuals.
Financial Status
In a society that often equates wealth with worth, those who are financially less well-off may experience feelings of inferiority. It’s essential to remember that true value is not determined by material possessions or financial status and it definitely doesn’t mean anyone is better than you. Our worth as individuals goes beyond monetary measures.
Unrealistic Beauty Standards
The media often promotes unrealistic beauty standards, leading individuals to feel inferior if they don’t conform to these expectations. There are so many things that can bother us, right? Like, “Am I too tall?” or “Am I too skinny?” And then there’s the whole “Why are my boobs so small?” thing. But are these things really “wrong” when it comes to being uniquely you?
Relationship Status
For some of us being single can cause the feelings of inferiority and we may start thinking “Is it normal that no one loves me?” or “What is wrong with me that I am single?” But being in a relationship does not define our worth, and it’s essential to remember that we are enough on our own. Our self-worth should never be determined by our relationship status.
For others being in a dissatisfying relationship causes them the feeling of inferiority, and we may think “Why can’t I make this relationship work?” or “Am I not good enough for my partner?”. But again, our self-worth should never be defined by someone else’s standards or opinions.
Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Strategies to Overcome Negative Self-Beliefs
Now that we’ve got a handle on where those negative self-beliefs and thoughts come from, like “Other people are better than me, something must be wrong with me”, it’s time to take some real steps to boost our self-esteem and confidence.
Self-Awareness
The first and non-negotiable step is to actually recognize and acknowledge your negative self-perception. Only by being honest with ourselves can we begin to address and overcome these beliefs. Being self-aware isn’t easy, but it is absolutely essential for gaining control of our own thoughts and emotions.
Take a moment, breathe, and identify what triggers these thoughts in your mind. Is it the unrealistic beauty standards we see on social media? Or maybe comparing ourselves to others? Once you become aware of the roots of these negative beliefs, it becomes easier to challenge them.
Start Meditating
This ancient practice can be incredibly beneficial in helping to calm your mind and provide a sense of peace and relaxation. By taking a few minutes each day to sit quietly and focus on your breath, you can reduce stress and anxiety, which in turn helps to quiet the negative voices in your head.
Instead of scrolling mindlessly on your phone for hours each day, try incorporating 5 minutes of meditation into your daily routine. It might just be the soothing balm your mind needs to help overcome those nagging thoughts of “What is wrong with me?” or “Why are people better than me?”.
Start Journaling
Writing down our thoughts and feelings can be a powerful tool for self-reflection. Take some time each day to write down your thoughts and any limiting beliefs you might have about yourself. That makes it much easier to identify your unique source of negative self-talk.
To break free from the cycle of negative thoughts, it’s important to transform those pessimistic beliefs about yourself!
Start a Gratitude List
Listing your negative emotions is a great start. But we want to focus on our strengths and potential. That’s where a gratitude list comes in. Try taking a few minutes each day to write down things you are grateful for, such as your accomplishments, personal qualities, and supportive relationships.
By shifting your focus toward the positive aspects of yourself, you can begin to build self-esteem and confidence.
Positive Affirmations
This might sound cliché, but it’s an absolute truth – no one ever will believe that you’re amazing if you don’t believe it yourself. Positive affirmations can really help you change your mindset and appreciate the beauty of your strengths and weaknesses.
Tell yourself in the mirror “I am amazing. I am capable. I am enough.” and keep eye contact. It will feel odd in the beginning but your resentment is just a sign of insecurity.
You can take it a step further by writing your affirmations on sticky notes and placing them around your house, office or in your car, wherever it feels comfortable for you. They’ll serve as a constant reminder of your self-worth.
By repeating positive affirmations, you are training your mind to focus on your strengths instead of dwelling on thoughts like “people are better than me”. Over time, this self-belief will radiate outwards, compelling others to see and value your worth, too. Remember, you are your own harshest critic, but you also can be your own best cheerleader!
Set Realistic Goals
Setting attainable goals can help boost your self-esteem. Therefore it’s important to start small and break down your desired achievement into milestones. This way, it becomes easier to recognize progress and feel satisfied with your accomplishments.
When you achieve these goals, celebrate your success! This will foster a sense of accomplishment and build confidence in your abilities.
Surround Yourself With Positive Influences
Focusing on the positive aspects of your personality is only one side of the medal. Equally important is to surround yourself with people who love and appreciate you for who you are. These positive influences can help lift your spirits and remind you of what is truly great about yourself.
At the same time, it’s also important to distance yourself from negative influences, whether that be toxic relationships or comparing yourself to others on social media. Choose carefully who you wanna follow on social media and spend your precious time with.
Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, we all feel like we don’t quite measure up to others. But thinking “Everyone else is better than me” or waking up feeling something is wrong on a daily basis might be a serious issue.
Experiencing a persistent sense of inadequacy and questioning your talents and skills is known as Imposter Syndrome. It’s a common phenomenon, and sometimes it takes more than just self-help to overcome these feelings.
Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist can provide an objective perspective and offer strategies to manage these feelings of inferiority.
Final Words If You Think Everyone Else Is Better Than You
Remember, it’s normal to feel insecure and doubt yourself from time to time. But constantly comparing ourselves to others and focusing on our flaws can hold us back from reaching our full potential.
By celebrating your successes, surrounding yourself with positive influences, and seeking professional help if needed, you can learn to combat these feelings of inferiority.
Most importantly, remember that you are unique and have your own strengths that make you special. So instead of asking “What is wrong with me?”, start asking “What makes me great?” You might be surprised at just how amazing you truly are! Let your individuality and uniqueness guide you, and always remember to love yourself unconditionally. Because at the end of the day, that’s all that truly matters.
So next time you catch yourself comparing yourself to others and feeling like they are better than you, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are enough. You have your own unique journey and path, and it’s time to embrace it wholeheartedly.
Let go of the expectations and judgments, and simply focus on being your authentic self and who you want to become. Because that’s what truly matters in the end – finding happiness within yourself and being proud of who you are.
Ask yourself one last time, “What is wrong with me?” and let the answer be, “Absolutely nothing.”