We’ve all heard the saying, “Time heals all wounds.” But when it comes to emotional healing, this may not always be the case. In fact, the journey of healing can often feel like a rollercoaster ride – with its ups and downs, twists and turns. Emotional healing is not linear. Not for you or anyone else in the history of humankind, most likely.
The Myth of Linear Healing
First, let’s debunk the myth that healing is a linear process. Many people have this misconception that once they begin their journey of emotional healing, it will be a straight path towards feeling better. You just gotta open up and start talking about those deep-rooted inner wounds, and poof, they just vanish like magic!
Unfortunately, that’s not the way it works.
The reality is that emotional healing is not a one-size-fits-all approach or a quick fix. It takes time and effort to work through our emotions and past traumas. And even when we think we’ve made progress, setbacks can and will occur, and that’s completely normal.
Okay, Healing Is Not Linear. But What Does That Mean?
Picture yourself being fit and healthy, regularly going for a Sunday morning run. You know you can do better, so you decide to join a marathon. You begin by running more frequently during the week and gradually adding a few extra miles to your routine.
The first couple of weeks are going great for you. You’re motivated as never before and you can see a clear progress of your endurance. But then life gets in the way. You have to work extra hours, your kids are sick, and you don’t have time for your morning runs anymore.
Does that mean all your progress is lost? No! You just hit a small bump on the road. You may not be able to run as much or as frequently for a while, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pick up where you left off when things settle down.
The same concept applies to emotional healing. It’s not a straight path, but rather a rollercoaster ride with many ups and downs. There will be days when you feel like you’ve made tremendous progress and other days when it feels like you’re right back where you started.
With each stepping stone along your personal journey of healing, you will find new triggers popping up like little mushrooms after the rain. It’s as if life has its own bizarre sense of humor, throwing these curveballs just when you think you finally got it.
But here’s the kicker: these new triggers are not setbacks, they’re signposts. They’re clues to the areas you still need to work on, hidden treasures in the map of your healing journey. It’s like playing an emotionally charged game of hide and seek with your past traumas.
Some days, you’ll be the champion, finding and confronting these triggers head-on. On other days, they might win a round. But each interaction, each round, is progress. You’re learning not just about your triggers, but also about your own strength, resilience, and capacity to heal.
Understanding and accepting that healing is not linear will make the process much easier, more organic, and less fraught with self-judgment.
The Process of Healing
Healing, whether physical or emotional, is a pretty complex and deeply personal journey. There’s no fixed formula or timeline for it. It involves a lot of trial and error, ups and downs, and learning to navigate through the storm of your personal healing story.
Nevertheless, there are some things you can start with on your personal journey of growth and healing.
Helpful Steps to Get Started On Your Journey of Healing
Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step in any healing journey is acknowledging that you have been hurt. Ignoring or repressing your feelings only causes more harm in the long run. It’s okay to not be okay. Allow yourself the space and time to feel your emotions.
Consider the example of a physical wound. If you cut your finger, the first step to healing is recognizing and acknowledging the injury. You wouldn’t ignore it or pretend it doesn’t hurt. Instead, you’d clean it, maybe apply an antiseptic, and cover it with a bandage.
Emotional wounds deserve the same care and attention. If you’re feeling hurt, it’s important to acknowledge that pain. Pushing it aside or pretending it doesn’t exist will not help it heal. It’s only by facing it, understanding it, and giving it the care it needs, that true healing can begin.
Find Joy in What You Love
A crucial part of the healing process is rediscovering the things that bring you joy and satisfaction. It may sound simple, but it can be challenging, especially in the beginning when you’re not sure what truly makes you happy.
Start by thinking about activities you used to enjoy or try something new – like painting, gardening, cooking, or even stargazing. Just be open and patient with yourself. It’s totally fine if it takes time to find those sources of joy. Remember, healing is not a straight line, and every step you take is progress.
Practice Self-Care
Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary. It’s essential to take care of yourself during the healing process because you deserve love, compassion, and kindness – especially from yourself.
It’s vital to carve out time for activities that make you feel good and allow for self-reflection. This could be as simple as taking a walk in nature, practicing yoga, reading a good book, or enjoying a cup of tea in silence. These activities should be about relaxation, rejuvenation, and pleasure.
But self-care in a matter of healing is also about understanding and processing your emotions. Consider activities that allow introspection, such as journaling or meditation.
These practices can help you take a moment to reflect on your feelings, notice patterns in your behavior, and get the clarity you need for emotional healing.
It is important to keep in mind that the process of self-care, much like healing, is not linear. Some days might be harder to confront with your inner wounds than others, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself, and celebrate your small victories.
Connect with Others
Often, when we feel vulnerable or in pain, our natural instinct is to withdraw and isolate ourselves from others. This reaction, although common, can sometimes hinder the healing process.
A heartfelt conversation with a friend, a warm embrace from a loved one, or even the simple act of laughing together can boost our mood and foster a sense of belonging.
Reach out to people who understand your journey. This could be friends, family, or support groups. We are social creatures and sharing our experiences can make the process less daunting.
Seek Professional Help
Dealing with emotional wounds or traumatic experiences can often feel like trying to navigate a labyrinth in the dark.
These incidents tend to burrow deep within our psyche, making it challenging to tackle them on our own. The complexity of our emotions and the intricacy of the human mind call for an understanding that goes beyond the surface.
That is where professional help comes into play. Therapists, psychologists, and counselors are trained to understand the complexity of human emotions. They can provide you with the necessary tools and techniques to unearth, confront, and heal from these deeply seated wounds.
Reaching out for professional help is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength. The path to healing is not linear, and it’s perfectly okay to seek professional support during challenging moments on your journey to inner well-being.
Forgive Yourself
There will be bad days along with the good, and that’s okay. Forgive yourself for the setbacks and slip-ups. Healing is not a smooth journey, and it’s natural to experience dips along the way.
Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes or past actions, acknowledge them, learn from them, and move forward. Forgiveness is an essential part of emotional healing – both for others and yourself.
You are doing the best you can and that’s more than enough.
How To Deal With Setbacks
Setbacks are a part of life and more so when you are on a journey of healing. They can arrive unannounced and may feel like a dent in your progress. But, remember that these bumps on the road are not indicators of failure, rather they’re signs of your ongoing growth.
Breath
When a setback occurs, take a few moments to simply breathe. Deep, mindful breathing can help to calm the mind and body, bringing you back to the present moment. This allows you to process the emotions that come with the setback without getting overwhelmed.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s completely normal to feel frustrated or upset after a setback. Allow yourself to feel these emotions fully – it’s all part of the process. Suppressing or ignoring your feelings can prolong the healing journey. Instead, acknowledge and validate your emotions.
Practice Self-Care
Physical exercises like yoga or tai chi are powerful tools for dealing with setbacks. They not only help to release tension but also train the mind to be present and aware.
Some other self-care practices include journaling, taking a walk in nature, or spending time with loved ones. Self-care and self-awareness are crucial parts of any healing journey.
Remind Yourself that Healing Is Not Linear
It may sound like a broken record, but this sentiment bears repeating: healing is not linear!
It’s not a strict progression of stages, where you move from one to the next in a predictable, orderly manner. Actually, it’s just the opposite. It’s important to remember this because it’s natural to have days where you feel like you’re backsliding or stuck in a rut.
But this doesn’t mean you’re not healing, it’s simply part of the process. Healing involves ups and downs, forward leaps, and a few steps back. It’s a winding path, not a straight line. Don’t be harsh on yourself on the tough days. Embrace the journey with grace and patience, because every twist and turn is leading you towards recovery.
Develop a Plan
Once you’ve taken some time to rest and reflect, think about what you can do differently moving forward. Develop a plan that includes small, achievable goals and set emotional boundaries. This will give you something to focus on and celebrate when you reach each milestone.
Also, remember to be flexible with your plan. Life happens, and setbacks are inevitable. But having a general idea of where you want to go can help guide you through the tough times.
Celebrate Your Progress
It can be easy to get caught up in setbacks and forget how far you’ve come. Take some time to reflect on your progress, where you once started, and how far you have come, and celebrate those small victories.
Healing is not a race. It’s about making progress, no matter how small or slow it may seem. Every step forward counts, so be proud of yourself for all the hard work you’ve put in to heal.
Stay Open to Learning
Setbacks can provide valuable lessons and insights. Stay open to learning from them, and use this knowledge to continue growing and healing. The process of healing is not just about overcoming past hurt, but also about learning how to handle future challenges.
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘Chaos is good for you’? Chaos is the state of having no clear order or structure with unpredictable events and uncertain outcomes. This kind of uncertainty can lead to growth and creativity because it forces us to come up with innovative solutions.
Take your emotional chaos and turn it into something great.
Remember Your Why
On the days when it feels especially difficult, remind yourself of why you started on this healing journey in the first place. Keep your motivation and intention at the forefront of your mind.
Your “why” can be a powerful tool to keep you going and give you the strength to push through tough times. It can also help you stay focused on your healing, even when life gets busy and stressful.
Be Kind to Yourself
Above all, be kind and compassionate towards yourself throughout the healing process. You are doing your best, and that is enough. Remember to practice self-care and prioritize your well-being.
Keep Moving Forward
No matter how difficult the journey and your temporary setback may seem, remember that you are continuously moving forward toward healing and growth.
Keep taking small steps each day, and trust in your ability to overcome any challenges that come your way. Let yourself embrace the nonlinear nature of healing, and trust in your own resilience.
Seek Support
Don’t be afraid to reach out for support when you need it. Whether it’s from a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or support group, having a strong support system can make all the difference in your healing journey.
Embrace Your Vulnerability
Your past experiences that need healing may have been hidden away in the darkness for so long, hidden from the light of acceptance and understanding. But now you have the strength to bring them into the light and let yourself heal.
Healing requires vulnerability and courage to face difficult emotions and experiences.
Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. By embracing your vulnerability, you are taking an important step toward healing and personal growth.
Final Words of Nonlinear Healing
At times, it might feel like you’re taking more steps backward than forward, and that’s okay. The important thing is to be patient with yourself and remember that every step, no matter how small, is progress.
Embrace your vulnerability, lean on your support system, keep moving forward, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. The road to healing may be winding, but trust in your resilience—it’s what got you this far.
You are stronger than you think, and you have the capacity to heal at your own pace, in your own time. It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.
Once again – healing is not linear. Never forget that.
The wound is the place where the light enters you.
RUMI
FAQ About Healing
Is healing from a breakup linear?
No, it is not. Healing from any kind of emotional pain or trauma is a nonlinear process that often involves ups and downs. It is important to be patient and allow yourself the time and space to heal.
Can I heal on my own?
While some people may find healing on their own, it’s important to have a support system in place to help you through difficult times. It’s okay to ask for help and lean on others when needed.
Why is mental health not linear?
Mental health is not linear because our emotions and experiences are constantly changing and evolving.
What works for one person may not work for another. Even our own feelings about a particular situation or person can shift with time.
How do I know if I’m making progress in my healing?
Progress looks different for everyone. It could be feeling less triggered, having more good days than bad, or simply being able to talk about your experiences without feeling overwhelmed.
Why is healing messy?
Healing is messy because it involves facing painful emotions and memories. You may experience all the sadness, anger, anxiety, and pain again that you once felt during a traumatic experience while working through it now.
Healing is not a neat and tidy process, but rather a messy one that requires patience, self-compassion, and courage.
How do you help someone heal emotionally?
The key thing you can do for someone going through the healing process is to be there for them, while also giving them the space they might need.
The healing process can be tough and confusing, and the person going through it might feel overwhelmed. It’s important to recognize that their response to your support could also impact you and bring up some hidden emotions.
Be open to listening without judgment, offering support and understanding. Remind them it’s okay to take breaks and that healing is not a race.